| Gator
Chomp. Barry Bonds Back Acne Wins Most Pathetic Showing in
Pool History
INDIANAPOLIS (AP) -- There go the Florida Gators again, runnin'
it up on their way to a national championship. And in
basketball, believe it or not. Against UCLA, of all teams. And
with a tennis player's son as the star. Joakim Noah
dominated the Bruins on Monday night with 16 points, nine rebounds
and a record six blocks to key a 73-57 blowout for Florida's first
NCAA basketball championship. "It's like I'm in a
cloud," Noah said. "Not only does this feel good, but it
smells good and it tastes good. I can't even describe it."
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"Finally. A national
championship. A big raise. And enough cash for
that hair weave I've been dreaming about." |
Okay. Enough of the shining moment crap. The
dominant news in these parts is that this was the first Pool all
of recorded history where NOT ONE SINGLE PERSON PICKED THE CORRECT
CHAMPION. Barry
Bonds Back Acne - the sheet name you hate to think
about -- takes top prize in the pool by gaining zero points
in the final round. His key to victory was to have UCLA and
Florida in the final game -- a feat unmatched by anyone
else. The remaining five winners similarly backed into the
cash, displaying a complete ignorance of college hoops but
managing to be just a few points smarter than the rest of
us. Curly Neal, brother
of last year's Pool winner Meadowlark
Lemon, is trash talking the office about his 4th place
showing this year and back-to-back triumphs. If you
encounter this peacock, you can shut him up with this simple set
of questions: "You had BC to win the tournament?
Didn't your leaders teach you anything about hoops before they
sent you to our planet???".
Payments will be distributed NEXT week after final accounting
is done. We have three bag men and need to do some cash flow
before we can write the checks. If you need your check
mailed to you, write to hooppool@hotmail.com
with instructions on where to send your check.
The final winners are:
| [02] UCLA vs [03] Florida, Winner = [03] Florida |
| Place | Contestant | Points |
Prize |
| 1 | Barry Bonds Back Acne | 156 |
$1,000 |
| 2 | sammies4 | 153 |
$500 |
| 3 | Keith + Stupidity = This bracket | 142 |
$250 |
| 4 | Curly Neal | 141 |
$130 |
| 5 | The Cincinnati Kid | 139 |
$80 |
| 6 | The Receeding Hairline Eagles | 138 |
$60 |
Click on
STANDINGS
to see where you ended up.
And finally, thanks for playing. We had another record
turnout, and we're looking forward to an even more successful pool
next year.
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